Sunday, June 17, 2012

The show must go on..

                                                                                                        (Section 5 : Impressionist)

By Piyush

The pain of loss or failure is felt only to those who can succeed.

But this is story of a person who continues to live trying something, knowing that he won’t be able to succeed. Does he live every moment of his life with the pain of loss? Since the time I’ve known him, I have been thinking what drives him.

I guess some of us know. I wish all of us could know.

On 6th March 2011 morning, I boarded a slow local train on the harbor line to Khandeshwar (near Panvel). I was going to meet Nishi and Pranat, my school friends.

I’m little uncomfortable taking crowded trains but thought Sunday could be leaner than weekdays, I decided to try.

When the train came, I realized I was wrong. Some Mumbai locals are always crowded. I hurried in; only to find myself in the vendor’s coach. And the train started.

Felt a little awkward; but stood there for few minutes when a person of around 50 stood up and offered me his seat.

“It’s alright”. I never imagined an old man offering seat to a ‘relatively less old man’ and that, in Mumbai.

“I will get down after a few stations”, He spoke in Hindi with north Indian accent.

“Ok. Let us both sit then”, I smiled and we sat together on half seat each.

And for those minutes we talked.

A nondescript personality, perhaps little unwell too; he works everyday as a transporter of slippers and shoes to a shop in Andheri. Around 20 years back he came from Baliya and has been struggling to save enough to keep sending back some money home for his mother and wife.

“This must be very tiring. How much do you get? Don’t you have any other option?” I felt bit uncomfortable with his toil.

Then he spoke as if he wasn’t heard for long.

His father had taken a loan that he couldn’t repay in his life time. The lender had a small business in Mumbai. He continues to work for him to compensate for the loan; though he doesn’t get as much other guys in the same shop get.

“You cannot continue like this for ever. How much of the loan is still to be paid?” I tried to explain about possible loans he may get from banks and other sources.

But he said he wants continue to work for that lender, for he gave money in the hour of need. And then he also agreed to employ him instead of taking over his land when his father passed away. There was a sense of gratitude.

He got down at Andheri but I kept thinking about him. Don’t know what will happen to him after few years. His only son is now married. But he is not willing to or is unable to keep him. He knows he has grown old; the young guys are faster and smarter. He knows, his struggle will increase as the society and his age will slowly take away his strength.

Perhaps this is what people call 'passive euthanasia'. I guess before it became 'legal', it has already been part of many of our lives.

But he doesn't expect any support or pity. And I also received the underlying message, that unlikely anything will ever take away his belief that he can continue. He didn’t talk about the options; he talked about what he wanted to do. He keeps no grudge whatsoever and he knows how to spend the rest of his life.

The certainty about how he wants to spend his life drives him, even when he knows his fate.


By Ajay Sudhanshu

I had heard about such certainties. They say it comes to only few of us. And that too very rarely in our lives, no matter how many life times we live. Wish someday I will experience it. And till then, I have decided to let all the grudges go; the show goes on...

4 comments:

How do we know said...

i read this twice. lovely! lessons there for everyone.

Manish Raj said...

HDWK - Thanks !! I am in SG for few days. Will skype once I am back :)

Ashish Mehta said...

Good One Manish! Quite liked.. You are a great Thinker. I guess this is the prime necessity for a good writer. Keep it up buddy.. awaiting your subsequent posts :)

Manish Raj said...

Thanks Ashish Bhai !!