Saturday, July 2, 2011

Search of a new God..

There were stories of a small grass land where the morning sun shined bright, of the gulmohar trees those swaggered with the monsoon winds, of the fragrance of the soil that foretold the onset of seasons, of the far songs that heralded the days of festivals; I've heard them all as Granny used to tell those lying next to me, under those thousand stars, making me sleep.

Only I could make her run; only she could make me eat Dal Rice. There wasn’t anyone dearer to us than each other. We shared the same world, the same sky and the same God, in and outside those stories.

I was at the same place again for my brother-in-law’s marriage. It rained a lot during those few weeks.

But the town did recognize me. The familiar sight, of the rhythmic rain, of the drunken trees, of dancing kids, and of waterlogged roads; and this time I also saw the time that has gone by since I and Sonu used to sit on the window and watch the rain. Spent few days dreaming as the stories were retold, places revisited, moments relived; I just wanted to make the most of it, not sure when will I be back.

Granny is very old now. When I met her this time, she hugged me and cried. Every time I meet her, I just pray that she stays alive until my next visit. This time, I wasn’t sure about my next visit; I kept silent, heart sinking.

Unlike earlier days when she used to be very active, this time in the hustle of marriage, she kept quiet; blessed everyone with her filled-in eyes, slept before we stopped singing, occasionally hugged us and cried at times with joy. She said she couldn’t prepare those Aloo Papad because of her weakening eyesight and strength.

Time has flown by. I look at myself, the wonders have become the usual, unpredictability has become unsafe, and a protectionist has replaced the cowboy. There aren’t stories anymore or I am no more part of those stories. Guess I too have changed, in not too less than the ways my Granny has.

She doesn’t appear to be praying God all the time now. Perhaps she has no more wishes left.

As I look ahead, I see it’s time to re-prioritize my wishes, for overall future and not just for my professional future. I have taken steps towards the change.

For Granny and me, the world is changing. Our priorities and places will change, for the sake of our near and dear ones. The wishes also have changed. Perhaps the old Gods aren’t enough; the search for the new God has begun.