Around 20 years back, my hairline started receding. ‘The good lord giveth all, the good lord taketh all,’ someone said. But I kept trying recommendations. Lived in state of denial for some time, held grudge against the God thereafter, while hair loss continued, until there was nothing left to lose. My mother said my hairs were curly when I was a little boy.
I live with the loss today. It doesn’t bother me anymore. What remains, is the gratitude towards what I had once.
Guess we all learn to live without something or someone dear. There lies our freedom, and theirs. Just have to understand their role and their stage in our lives and move on.
In 2002, in an evening we were complaining about the food James, our helper at the Siemens guest house in Dehradun, prepared for us.
“He has no sense of taste or variety. Cooks the same stuff every second day. Doesn’t even ask us what to cook”, we cribbed while James listened, with his head down.
Kanan looked at us in disbelief. “Tell me if you guys have made any attempt to inform him in advance about what you like to eat?” She asked.
“You talk about your customer’s been rude to you, aren’t you guys equally rude customers? aren’t you guys equally inflexible?” And she smiled. Kanan was our project manager. More than that she knew how to manage racoons like us.
From that time onwards, I have always tried to put myself into customer’s shoes; have tried to become a good customer myself. Have also made efforts to understand people’s perspectives and have chosen my battles carefully.
In 2017, I shifted to Singapore with family. Had to engage a helper given my daughter is too young and my mother bit old.
We had never engaged a helper to stay with us full time. But thankfully there have been several agencies in Singapore those provide references to choose from. An issue was, the maids had put their Instagram worthy pics. More than 50% of them appeared too attractive and hence not qualified. Well I thought so.
We finally chose a girl based on our intuition. She appeared simple and non-descript; thought we could start with that. After waiting for her around a month, we met Dwi Lestari in May 2017.
In following months and years, I saw her learning and doing things, carrying out her work at home and outside, taking care of people at home, her patience and her intelligence. She has been my hero and remains by far, the most intelligent and determined lady I have met.
She lived without any support of husband, away from her small child and her mother. She looked after us with great care and grace, in spirit of meeting our expectations. Last December when her mother passed away, she went to her home town for a couple of weeks, put her child to a friend’s place and came back to finish her contract, despite all my requests and advice not to come back. Life’s greatest lessons come at unexpected places. I learnt how to deal with a customer, at home.
Dwi left us last Friday after completing her contract. She has been able to save some money. I know she is going to make best use of it, perhaps towards what she likes to do, run a small business selling clothes. I am sure she will be successful in that too. Like her name, all that I’ve learnt from her, will stay abiding in me.
