Catch another butterfly..

(Last couple of weeks has been very hectic. During weekends all I could do was catching up with a few office assignments. Life went on, albeit not without this event, I am sharing herewith.)

It was a Thursday evening two weeks back. I was on my way back to Bangalore after a week long official trip to Raigarh.

I had to catch the night train from Raigarh. In hurry, I had reached station a little early. And the train was running around an hour late.

My ticket was done by my hotel’s travel desk. It mentioned waiting list 3 for which they had assured that it would be confirmed.

I sat on platform number 2 waiting. It was not too late in night but the platform was almost empty. Vignettes of tea-vendors, book-stalls went through as I breathed slowly after a tiring day. It was getting cold as well. I wore my jacket and cuddled with my laptop. Time slowed down as I tried hard not to sleep.

Since childhood, I have waited. I have waited to grow old, I have waited to become self-dependent, I have waited for the people who’ll love me, I have waited for happiness, I have waited for my child, I have waited to connect to the world, I have waited to listen to others and to express my feelings, I have waited for rest. The wait continues.

Train reached almost an hour late. There were no charts, no other person traveling with me from that station. I got into the train thinking my ticket would have been confirmed and I would get the berth number from the TT onboard.

It was late night by then and curtains were drawn by the travelers. Almost everyone was fast asleep. I decided not to disturb them and I waited outside near the wash basin area for the TT.

No one came for long. It was getting colder in the night. I sat on my bag and closed my eyes.

I got up when I heard the flow of water. I saw a girl washing her face and continually giving me a corner eye. She went inside and came out of the rest-room as I sat awake. I saw the dislike in her eyes as she banged the door while going back to her berth.

She must have thought I was traveling without ticket. I was wearing a dark jacket and somewhat dirty jeans. I felt very bad and cursed the TT for not showing up. The issue was I had to catch the morning flight to Mumbai from Raipur and in the evening I had my onward flight to Bangalore. It was too costly to get down, cancel the flights and re-book.

Train picked up speed as I looked outside. I remembered when I was studying, my travels were mostly unplanned. I had to travel waitlisted several times. I traveled sometimes during holidays, sometimes after exams. Sometimes happy about passing the exam; sometimes anticipating I’ll meet someone. I cared a damn about getting a berth to sleep. I did not need any sleep to dream. My ‘Weekender’ jacket was enough to keep me warm. But that thursday night I had nothing to dream. I just wanted to sleep. That night I was worried what would that girl think about me. That night I lived for the world more than for myself.

Finally TT came; he could offer me a seat. But I did not sleep because the train had to reach Raipur at 2.20 AM in the night. I reached Raipur, took morning flight to Mumbai. And after completing my work in Mumbai, I took the evening flight to Bangalore.

Bangalore flight was a quite crowded that day. I had decided to sleep through out. I had hardly buckled up when I was told I have been upgraded to business class. I thought it was even better place to sleep. Happily I came ahead, kept my bag and slept.

“Towel for you sir”, I heard as I got up. I saw the air-hostess. I saw the same girl.

She wore a red skirt instead of salwar, and of course, she looked different. My sleep was gone. I almost smiled.

But she had something else to tell. After completing her work, she came and told; she actually wanted to offer me a seat with her because she was not sleeping and had to get down at Raipur. She did not do that because this could have been misunderstood by others. Ice broke; she went on and discussed from current economic crisis to her impending marriage in Bangalore.

I came back home. Adi loved seeing me after a week. He told me a dozen stories about the week gone by. He talked about his school, his friends, his plans to go to water-park. He showed me his cars, stones, and his drawings. He kissed and hugged me all the time.

He need not think what others will think about him; he need not be bothered whether he can be misunderstood. He does what he wants.

He does not know the inhibitions and restrictions an adult life comes with. And I have decided I will teach him the bare minimum. And before he wants to become a man, I will tell him to wait; before he gets impacted by others, I will tell him to catch another butterfly.